Day in the Life of Me
by jarethstwilighteyes
Summary: This is my online diary. It would be cool if you read it because it will let you know how long you have to wait for upcoming chapters or we could have girl talk. R&R if you wish. I would be cool if you did.
1. November 9

**AN: Just to warn you this is my diary so it's going to have opinons that you don't neccesarily agree with. So please don't get mad at me. I am also chaging the names of people in this diary. R&R if you wish.**

Monday November 9, 2009 8:20 pm

I have always been jealous of Jennifer Connelly and Kristen Stewart. How can two people with no talent in acting whatsoever be so rich and famous?

I always wanted to be an actress ever since I was little. Why should they get an opportunity of a life when they don't deserve it?

Of course I am jealous of Jennifer Connelly for more than one reason besides her poor acting skills. One being her staring in my favorite movie, another staring in that same movie with my favorite singer David Bowie, and lastly having the most beautiful face, giving her opportunities in modeling, being in foreign commercials and also making it so she doesn't have to have a stitch of make up and still remain beautiful. Not to mention she is skinny.

I would have loved to be able to star in "The Labyrinth," with a famous and fabulous singer like David Bowie, but I wasn't born yet. I would have loved to star in a Japanese soda commercial, being as I am Japanese,( a ¼ to be exact) and I would have loved to have a beautiful body that would make men drool… but I don't.

At 16, I have rather large breasts. I am 38-D. I am also 5'6'', naturally wavy brown hair, and am a size large to extra large in junior clothing. I know, that flattering at all.

I personally don't think I am ugly, just not pretty, if that makes any sense at all. People always tell me I'm pretty, but they are always friends or family. They don't count because family always sees you as beautiful, and friends just say it because they sill want to be your friend and care about your feelings.

Besides Jennifer Connelly's beauty, I am also jealous of Scarlett Johanson's and Bettie Page. They have an old fashion beauty that is sexy but trying to be… just like Jennifer Connelly's.

I myself have a unique look to my face but that's only because my heritage is mostly Japanese and two parts Native American. Not to mention that I have a small rash that appears in the corner of my mouth randomly. I take Benedryl for it but it works slowly.

I started a new school this year for my junior year because I moved in with my mom. At my new high school I accidentally made friends with the "cool" crowd even though only a couple people talk to me, like my friend Jennifer, Samantha, Jewel, Justin, Alyson, Courtney, and Jasmine, and sometimes Darren and Nick.

I think the reason Jennifer wanted to be friends with me was because of my looks. She only seems to hang out with good looking people. Now I know I said earlier that I don't think I am necessarily pretty but that's the only reason I can come up with. Otherwise she seems to be pretty snobby towards the people who aren't her friends.

But as I said I only think she hangs out with good looking people. For example her friend Alicia. She is very tall, model skinny, long dark hair that goes down to her slim waist, and perfect white teeth.

I miss my friends back at my old school, but I left there because I wanted to escape my demons. Ever since I became friends with my former friend Hailey people thought I was into drugs when I wasn't. That caused attraction from guys like one of my good guy friends Joe and another guy Jace, who claimed he was the member of the bloods (I rolled my eyes at that) and also was the number one guy to want to get in my pants. He mostly tried in 9th grade when he was still smoking pot, but he became fore gentlemanly and chivalrous towards me in 10th grade when he stopped. (Thank God)

But now I am surrounded my bitches who all they have in their lives is their drama and their stupid boyfriends whom they are going to forget once they are out of high school. Can I ever win?

I started working on "Someday You'll Marry Me," last night but stopped after a couple paragraphs because I am having writers block. I want so badly to skip right to the weekend where Bella has her date with Edward and Jacob but then the story will be too short. But I am going to do my best. And with the help with my beta I bet we can make the story amazing.

Well I guess I should work on it right now… yeah I think I will.


	2. November 11

**Wednesday November 11, 2009 2:06 pm**

Today there was no school. Yay! But then again I didn't go Monday or Tuesday.

I lied to my mom about feeling sick. That's what I do it seems like these days. I lie. Everyone always believes me too. Except my mom. She knows how to read a lie from anyone a mile away because she can read people very well. That's why she always wins at poker. The reason she is so good at lying is because she did it so much as a kid as well. She never calls me out on my lies though because she'd rather just ignore it, knowing my lie is not a big deal anyway. I am not a trouble maker and she knows that.

But she always makes sure I know that she knows that I am lying to her. She only does it when she's drunk though. Every single time she gets drunk she let's me know that she knows I am probably doing something on the computer that I am not suppose to- which is true. I write and read rated 'M' fanfictions though I don't look at porn, I have a facebook and myspace account that I claim I hardly go on but I go on shortly everyday.(The whole reason I have those accounts is to keep in touch with my friends at my old school) And she knows I cuss at school and in my texts even though I don't do it around her.

She is very trustworthy mom. I am confident she won't ever read my text messages because I trust her as much as she trusts me. Yes even though she knows I lie constantly to her she still trusts me. And even though I know she lies to me I still trust her. It's a complicated relationship.

My mom is one of my best friends. Not to say that I don't have any friends whatsoever but she is the number one person I can go to and ask about my problems. Same with my two favorite aunts and my best friend Sierra. (That's her real name btw) I know they will never judge me, and with every decision and mistake I make they will always love me and care for me.

Last night at about 1:00 am I finsihed my next chapter to "Someday You'll Marry Me," all I am waiting for his my beta to send me back the edited version. She is super great! She does her job perfectly and my readers love it. I just wish they would give her as much gratitude to her as they do to me. She is important in writing the story too.

I know for a fact I could never be a beta. I mess up on my daily speech in general! So of course I am going to mess up the grammar in my stories. I'm a pretty good speller though. I can usually guess the country and the origin and figure out how it's suppose to be spelled. Not to say that I should go on the national spelling bee or anything but I'm still pretty good.

I love to write though. Ever since I was in third grade my teachers have recommended my writing to other teachers, and even my third grade teacher said on my report card that he though I should be a writer someday. I always felt so complimented and flattered.

I don't know why though I keep choosing to not be in an AP writing class or a creative writing class. I think it's because I'm too afraid of compitition from the other talented writers. I know I have to get use to compitition though because in the real world it's dog eat dog and there is always going to be someone better than you at something, so that means I just need to stop it up a knotch. I think maybe my senior year I will either take an AP class or a creative writing one.


	3. November 17

**Tuesday November 17, 2009 9:18pm**

My step mom dyed my hair on saturday. I really like it. It is a very dark brown that it almost looks black, and she also mixed it with red so it has a red undertone to it. I got a lot of compliments on it at school so that boosted my confidence up. I thought it kind of looked like it made me look washed out, but I guess I was wrong.

My mom wasn't too happy about my grades. I am getting two c-, one in geomatry and one in anatomy. But hey, it's not my fault that we're disecting cats. I mean I am the most sqeemish person in the world and I can't help it if I gag at the sight of it. I absolutely refuse to touch that thing. But i'm just kidding myself. The reall reason I am getting a c- is because I did horrible on my skeletal system test, but I am going to try harder with the muscular system which we are learning right now. That's why we are dissecting cats, because we have a lot of the same muscles as a cat and it's a better learning experience if we can see it right in front of us.

I am getting a c- in geomatry because i also failed my tests in that class too. I have absolutely no idea what is going on in that class, mostly because of the people I sit by, but hey it's not my fault that she arranged the seating chart like that. But I would rather come in after school for tutoring then have her change the seating chart--- which is what I do. lol!I love sitting next to them. They are so funny!The guy that sits behind me is constantly cracking me up.

Tomorrow is conferences and i'm not even sure if my mom is going. She is (and she even said this herself) too lazy. But that's just fine with me. It's not that I am bad at school, it's just that she may want me to come with her and it most likely will be awkward...

But what is mostly getting me through this week is that new moon is out of friday! we already got the tickets so it's all good. sierra told me that it said on fandango that new moon has the most pre-saled tickets in history! that's amazing to me because i would have expected it to be harry potter, star trek, or where the wild things are. But every time i see the new moon commercials i get a big jolt of happy in my body and it causes me to want to run all around the house screaming. hahaha! well not much left to say...


	4. December 8

**Tuesday December 7 8:16 pm**

It has been a while since I have posted anything. I am just so damn tired to anything lately! I don't know how i'll ever survive in the real world when I am still in school where the stress level seems to be a the minimum. I don't have to pay bills, I am not married, I don't have to work 12 hour shifts, I don't have any kids to take care of and so much more.

I have a huge muscle anatomy test in two days that I know I am going to fail. That's one thing I'm stressed about. People are constantly pissing me off because I am getting my period soon. My mom accidentally waxed off almost all my eyebrows and now I have to draw them on every morning to add to my daily routine. And to top it all off, one of my best guy friends has confessed his feelings for me and wants more but I don't.

Now I know it sounds like I am complaining but I can't help it. But what mostly is stressing out is my guy friend. How come every time I try to have a best friend that is a guy they end up falling for me? I mean they've had tons of friends that were girls before me and they didn't have any feelings for them! My mom and my friends all agree that my theme song should be "Oops I did it again." If you don't remember the lyrics look them up.

Btw I loved New Moon. SPOILER ALERT DON'T READ UNLESS YOU WANT IT TO BE RUINED! The end was different but I actually liked it. I think the book should have ended this way to keep us hanging for the third one, even though the original version did that already. LOL! But I mostly loved that is was so much like the book. I actually liked the movie new moon more than the twilight movie rather then the other way around because they folloewd the book really well. In the twilight movie they added too much like the green house scene, they screwed up the part where Bella finds out what the Cullens really are and a lot more. But I am glad that they added the fight scene. How could you not show the fight scene in a movie? LOL!

Besides twilight things have changed in my life besides one of my best guy friends liking me... again. My uncle by blood cheated on his horrible wife that wouldn't let him see my mom and my other aunt because she didn't like them. how stupid is that right? He told me the reason why bluntly and it was "I don't like my wife anymore." Which is understandable but still no excuse. I don't know whether or not to be mad at him or not. I mean what he did was very horrible but we all hated his wife so much that we are kind of happy for him to be away from her. He is now living with my step dad mom and I. He has enough money to pay some of the rent since he has a good paying job.

I just wish sometimes I didn't move out with my dad because it didn't make my life any better moving in with my mom but mostly i don't regret it. I sleep better and i escaped the people that influenced me to make bad descisions. But I guess I can't be completely happy anywhere. Well that's life.


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